just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
