Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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