Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
