I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I still have a little drunk in my system
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
