i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
