In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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