I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
