apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
