my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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