At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
