Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Found the puke drawer
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
