Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
