Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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