Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
