this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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