My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
