I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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