GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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