i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
