i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
