This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
