I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
