the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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