I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
