Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
