Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
