i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
