She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
