It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
