Heybabeimwearingurpanties
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
