like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
