I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
