Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
