so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
