We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Success! We fucked roommates!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
