I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize