S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
