I like to think it a success when the cops are called
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
