Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
