So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
