My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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