wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
