I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
