Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
