New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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