Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
