I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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