is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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