Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
