ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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