it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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