so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
