I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
