Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
