Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
