you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Princesses don't give blow jobs
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
