i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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