you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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