he thought i was a dude.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
