how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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