just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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