im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
