who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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